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  • Writer's picturebeccabaldwinwrites

Time Off

Hello dear readers,

It's been a long minute since my last blog post, as well as since I published new material. Why? Several reasons.

Firstly, I went through a rough patch in my personal life with my dad's recent surgery and the hellacious journey it was getting him well and back on his feet. Needless to say, it took a lot out of me and well, it wore me down to the point where I needed to step back, take a breath, and calm myself. The rough patch is over and he is doing great.

Secondly, getting spammed so hard by so-called reviewers who get a thrill out of destroying your ratings because they think it gives them power and fame. Then there was getting spammed by those posting fake reviews (especially when it's evident they didn't read your novel) and just did it because they think again it gives them fame and power. In addition to that, there was getting spammed by other 'writers' who think it's going to help their ratings by sinking you into the toilet, and just the overall sh*tiness of trolls had me to the point where I contemplated just quitting because why? Why would someone who doesn't know you be so f*cking mean to do that to someone? Because they are jerks. That's why. Jerks who misuse this platform just for the thrill of 'that rush'. I know it happens to us all, some so bad that they actually do quit, but alas, I did not and I will not. If there is one thing I am known for is picking myself back up and striking back. Not physically or by threatening or even reporting. No, I strike back because I refuse to let their maliciousness make me quit. I strike back by continuing to write. So many people think that because they internet gives them anonymity, nothing will happen to them. They're forgetting about karma. Karma is a mean, nasty b and she's not afraid to settle a score. So, if you don't want that, just be a good person. It's not that hard.

Lastly, the good old imposter syndrome meets the "I am a crap writer because why are my ratings, reviews tanking all of a sudden?" Look back to previous part of this blog post and there's the answer. Only, at the time I couldn't see it. All I saw was negative, negative, negative. It impacted how I saw my writing. It impacted my self-confidence as a writer until my MFA advisor gave me a compliment that really kicked me in the butt and made me say, "Why am I giving my power away to these assholes?" Because that's what I was doing. I wasn't focusing on the positive, which far outweighs the negative here. I was focusing on that hateful, destructive side who's only intention is to do just that: destroy. That kick in the bee-hind was just what I needed to proverbially get back on the horse and get back to business.

So, with that said, I have several projects that I will be releasing at the end of the year/beginning of the new year—including my MFA thesis novel. I hope that you all love them as much as I do once they reach your hands. To those who have supported me, followed me, and sent words of encouragement through all this, I am so grateful for you. You are part of the reason why I will continue to do this. You have my never ending gratitude. As for those who will continue to troll and do what they can to negatively impact my work and reputation, you can kick rocks.

Thank you for listening to my rant/therapy session. Much love to you my dearest readers.


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